Fitness is a mental game first. The secret to changing your body may be changing your mind. A desire to be fit and healthy is essential- but for some of us desire is not enough.
A psychological reality may only be in your head but it’s still a reality.
“Victim accountability” is a concept worth studying- especially if a psychological reality keeps you from achieving your fitness goals. The word “victim” refers to a “poor me” perspective on how life happened to you despite your best efforts. It does not refer to actual victims of crimes. “Accountability” addresses perspective on and aspects of personal responsibility for your life.
If motivation is what causes us to take action then the “poor me” victim dynamic may be the “why not” when we don’t take action.
When we create, promote, or allow a victim dynamic in our life there’s always something about the dynamic that is “working,” that provides us some sort of psychological payout despite an obviously negative situation.
Psychotherapy can help because understanding a problem brings resolution. Sometimes all it takes to change what you’re doing is understanding how things got started in the first place.
Psychotherapy helps us understand longstanding thought patterns for why we don’t accept personal responsibility, why we blame others or outside forces for why we “can’t” do something.
There’s always more than one way to think about anything: the question in need of an answer is why are you choosing to see the perspective that only sees the obstacle?
Honestly ask yourself what about anything negative in your life- anything that you’d like to change- is “working” for you, feeding you emotionally in any way.
Example: there’s a woman who is married with children. In her marriage she is victimized by her husband’s excessive drinking. This alcoholic is the father of her children. It’s clearly not her fault he drinks. She clearly never wanted to be married to an alcoholic. Her psychological payout- what is “working” for her about being a victim in this clearly dysfunctional relationship- is that by him being the lousy alcoholic father it gives her an opportunity to be the good parent. She gets a positive out of something clearly negative. Victim accountability work helped this woman realize how being a victim was working for her and how she unwittingly had been co-dependent. Once she understood the working dynamics she was able to change her behavior overnight.
Victim mentality depends upon habitual thought processes-convincing arguments- where outside forces are blamed for not being able to do something. Once you understand the dynamics that are at work when you allow yourself to be a victim, you can stop playing the victim.
Many of us have sustained stalled fitness plans through excuses we claim as reasons- excuses that keep us in a victim mentality. A reason is an excuse whenever a viable alternative is a possible option.
Neglecting your health is a choice you make- that results in abuse through neglect. There’s no good enough reason to abuse your body by ignoring your health. If your fitness struggles persist- if your body is able but your mind is not- you could benefit from psychotherapy.
Success in life comes from either learning how to help yourself or learning how to get the help you need.
If you have a physical injury you don’t know how to work around, or a body part you’re protecting, a physical therapist who’s also a personal trainer will help you.
Understand the ways in which you allow yourself to be a victim and you’ll become free- free to become fit.